From eastvillageboys which is not technically about food, unless you swallow.
MESS Eat me bitch
On Feeling Sentimental
Now that Mess has segued into Phase 3 and I’m searching the archive and thinking about last winter I found some charming (never seen before) pics - which I think were taken by Jesse.
LETS PLAY NAME AND SHAME
It’s that time again:
Shame:
(a) The awarding of dw eleven-13 in Dunkeld. I have never eaten there and feel no need to - this is not a restaurant review, but a polemic against foam. I do not want my asparagus deconstructed, ice-creamed or foamed. There is something perversely attractive about Heston and his exploded meringue methodology - but generally this provocation serves to remind me why I want roast chicken for supper. It seems to me at the moment that fucking-up food by blowing-it-up is quite a nasty and arrogant idea.
(b) Retail giants who put SASSI markings on their fresh fish but who sell tinned tuna that is SASSI red, with no marking, and with no shame. sis.
(c) South African designers who STEAL designs from better designers. Shame. (You know who you are)
(d) Mr Price Home: What The Fuck guys. When you started I thought IKEA South Africa - good taste for the proletariat. I still have mixing bowls from that epoch. And then? Does anybody want a square brown and bronze vase?
(e) The new bread for rolls at VIDA. sis. And actually VIDA in general - I’m so bored and your staff look bored too.
(f) The gallo image of the baker on our site 3 posts down. shame.
No shame:
(a) The generous benefactors who supported Mess for the last year: Adam Levy from 70 Juta, Dr & Misses from CO-OP (and WiTW), WITS Fine Arts, Rhys Ralph from Courtyard on 4th, Main Street Life.
(b) The cool kids in Cape Town who are always doing stuff. It’s exhausting and makes me glad to live Here. Drinks or coffee at The Power and the Glory, beer at &Union & coffee at Delux (and only coffee).
(c) Rossouw’s Restaurants for a better read and a pretty cover. Go JP.
(d) When the fuck do Cameron and Justin sleep? While we were sleeping they launched Merchantsandmakers that stocks really charming and pretty things. Fuck you guys.
(e) Anatomy Design’s black slate chopping board. Fuck you too Andrea.
VISI
Look out for our up-coming VISI recipes.
#foodtrendings
WELCOME TO TWO-THOUSAND & ELEVEN PEOPLES!
Here’s our totally made up food trends for 2011. Agree? disagree? got better ideas? Feel free to project all you want in the comments section :)
MEXICAN - THE RE-APPROPRIATED VERSION
Using my high-tech food chart projection koki-pen system, I’ve come to my totally made up prediction. MEXICAN - THE RE-APPROPRIATED VERSION is not on any of the food trend listings - YET - and the world is poorer for that. but, I predict that people aren’t willing to give up coriander leaves, and no one can stomach Thai curries anymore. So, the logical step is Mexican. (See how easy projection is?).
- Limes. tick.
- Ceviche. tick.
- Flatbreads. Made of corn. bonus.
- Beans - very good! And good for you too!
- Sour cream. Helllllooo.
- Avocados (please, please check where your avo comes from tho).
- Chocolate in food. chocolate pickers (otherwise known as oompaloompas) are finally getting better work arrangements. this means that your chocolate is going to get more and more expensive, and will basically become a luxury item. everyone likes something that is hard to get.
- Another reason I think that I am right about this, is because of the Artisan Tequila trend that is sweeping the world. R50 for a shot? A shot that will instantly bind you and your fellow drinkers, in a way that no one can remember (or care to), without the 90s effect of throwing up? Yes please.
-
Fresh coriander/cilantro. still yum.
& HONOURARY LIFE MEMBER TO ALL FOOD GROUPS. Chilli. always, always cool.
PIES - TRENDING BUT I AM NOT SURE
Aren’t pies a bit 2007? And while i am here, not many people can actually get a chicken pie right - often way too bland. please use chicken stock people! not chicken stock cubes - they may have that nice 2-minute noodels msg vibe going, but u need actual chicken stock bone goo (gelatine) to get your chicken to a place where it doesn’t taste like soothing water.
OUR VERY WON BUBBLIES
On New Years we had a bottle of Moet (I say the T, but you don’t have to) and we had a bottle of Moreson. Which was better? Our very very own Moreson. We also love Kaapsevonkel, and as much as drinking Pongraz gets me ripped off (and makes me burp little bubbles of biscuit and apple) I still love it, cos well, I always have. With massive emphasis on regionality (is that a word), find a local MCC and love it too. (Am ambivalent about Krone, but am alone in this, as there are some serious lovers out there).
SO HOT. STILL COOL.
Bread. Yeah u carbo-haters. you are probably feeling very very left out on this one. Isn’t it awesome how the gluten-allergies have disappeared? If you used to suffer from gluten-intolerance, here is your new line. “Wow, you know what? I used to be allergic to gluten, but guess what? It was ACTUALLY the kak that they put into breads that I was allergic to. What a relief!” Pass them that loaf please. and the butter. and the apricot jam. smiles all round. Welcome back.
GO AWAY NOW, WE’RE TIRED OF YOU
Cupcakes! They were only good cos they were nostalgic, reminding u of your childhood birthday parties when u were too young to realise that Mummy was laughing at Uncle Frank’s jokes way too loudly. Once you’ve bitten into nostalgia a few too many times, it turns to sentimentality. Cupcakes are now the equivalent of I Will Always Love You, by Whitney Houston (not Dolly, she’s the non-saccharine original).
LAST POINTS
Red food dye does not a Red Velvet Cupcake make. Stop lying!
Whole foods - face, ears, feet - on the table. Use hands.
Crockery. Getting cooler and cooler.
Beer. Finally, right up there with wine in terms of what’s-that-I-taste-chattability. (And still the only thirst quencher after horseriding/insert own sport here).
Fish. We’re gonna miss you :( I will write a whole post on this soon.
Raw Food. Also a whole post.
HOW TO DO YOUR OWN PROJECTION.
- Think of something food-related that is coming/is staying/should be going/has gone/ that u like/don’t like/can’t understand.
- Type idea inside COMMENT section.
- Prepare for Food Trending Fame Applause.
Ps - Apologies for the Getty image of a Bakerman - but I don’t actually have any photos of hot bakerguys. Yet. Any volunteers are very welcome. I’ll bring the butter and apricot jam.